Ep60 ~ Cuffing Season

'Tis the Damn Season... You can call me babe for the weekend." ~ Taylor Swift<br/><br/>Cuffing season as defined by Merriam Webster:<br/>"Refers to a period of time where single people begin looking for short term partnerships to pass the colder months of the year.' Cuffing season begins in October and lasts until just after Valentine's Day.<br/><br/>Paraphrasing a  recent article from Today.com says that cuffing season is a seasonal phenomenon of single people ramping up their efforts to enter into relationships during the fall and winter months. Cuffing season falls into the category of situationship. For some people it's a serious relationship. For others it is merely someone to come over when you want company on cold winter nights.<br/><br/>Loneliness is the ultimate driver of cuffing season.  The Cleveland Clinic explains that, " When the temperature drops and it gets cold earlier there is often a change of mood connected to the chemicals of serotonin and melatonin in your body. Cold nights can trigger intense feelings of loneliness and a drop in serotonin and there may even be a link between cuffing season and seasonal affective disorder.<br/><br/>During cuffing season, you may inadvertently lock yourself in a relationship you don't really want to be in. If you're feeling sad, lonely, or desperate, it may not be the best way to start a relationship. Hallmark movies, holiday commercials, etc remind us that being with someone makes us feel cozy. There is a natural boost in serotonin when we're feeling romantic.<br/><br/>I share my own experience of being in a "quasi" relationship during 1 of 4 cuffing seasons I've been through since being separated and divorced. I rebounded during my separation with a close friend. We dated through the fall and broke up on New Years Day. We went out on dates during the holidays, we exchanged gifts, and we were cozy. BUT shit got weird too... I was invited and then uninvited to an office Christmas party. The extra time I had during my holiday vacation time also exposed some underlying issues in our relationship. My boyfriend lied to me and declined an opportunity to spend time with me as well as an overnight invitation. He had family obligations that he wasn't truthful about. Because I didn't want to spend NYE alone, I stuck it out but broke up the next day. I don't regret this one cuffing season I participated in.<br/><br/>I think we're way more prone to "submarining" during cuffing season. Be cautious reaching out and being receptive to attention from people you were once romantic with. Maybe it's a great time to reconnect, maybe not. Cuffing doesn't have to be for the whole season. Maybe it can be fun to go as a plus one to a holiday wedding or NYE party. You don't have to lock down. <br/><br/>Personally, I don't miss getting pulled in many directions to attend a bunch of celebrations and buying gifts for so many people. I enjoy the simplicity of my holidays now when I share my energy and time with my close loved ones. I enjoy being a hermit when it's cold outside. I can cuddle with my puppy. For now, that's good enough for me. <br/><br/><br/><br/><br/>Support the show