August 24, 2023 on Planet 93.9 with Dave and Darren — “Gran Turismo,” “Blue Beetle,” “Strays,” “Red, White, and Royal Blue,” “Of an Age,” and “Close”

Mike Schulz, Dave Levora, and Darren Pitra point out that, traditionally, no good movies have been released in the last week of August. This fact suggests the forthcoming Liam Neeson action/road-thriller Retribution may be an even bigger box-office crash than the three of them anticipate. Still, they’re going to see it this Friday, and they expect the resulting wreckage to provide a schadenfreude-provoking good time. They’re inviting their listeners to take in the spectacle as well — and, possibly, inadvertently convince the local cinema, based on opening-night attendance, to hold it over an extra week. As for Gran Turismo, Schulz isn’t sure why Sony Pictures is promoting the film as incessantly as it has, as a TV viewer has essentially absorbed a mini-film’s worth of previews well ahead of its release, and they may conclude they can wait a while longer for it to stream. Still, as video-game cinematic adaptations go, Gran Turismo, directed by Neill Blomkamp from a screenplay by Jason Hall and Zach Baylin, isn’t bad. In fact, according to Schulz, “it’s okay.” The film concerns Jann Mardenborough (Archie Madekwe), who proved such an excellent player of the racing-simulation game Gran Turismo that someone in a position of authority thought it might be a great idea to put Mardenborough behind the wheel of an actual sport-car and see how he does. Can’t argue with that logic! Although this film is “Based on a True Story” — and in some countries, those words are a part of the film’s title — the very seeming-implausibility of the story feels as baked as thoroughly into the film’s structure as its product-placement. However, the cast, in particular Madekwe, and including a 46-year-old Orlando Bloom (what’s he been doing?), really sell the reality of reality’s unreality as best as actors can under such confusing conditions. Schulz’s conclusion? “I didn’t hate it.” Concerning Ángel Manuel Soto’s Blue Beetle (“that I did hate”), the only thing inventive about the film is that the protagonist and his family are Mexican-American — “and that’s where the invention stopped,” according to Schulz. “[Soto and his producers said,] ‘That’s all we need to do. Everything else will take care of itself.'” Clearly, that’s not what happened. Given the titular hero gets his powers from an ancient alien artifact known as the Scarab, no one stopped to reflect upon the fact the beetle-shaped amulets and impression seals of the Scarabaeus sacer, meant to pay homage to the Egyptian god Khepri, are also representations of the dung beetle. No one really thought there might be some hidden symbolism there? Well, the character’s creator, Steve Ditko, may not have known; may not even had cared if so informed; or perhaps he did know, and he did care, but preferred to keep it his own secret joke on the comic-book-buying audience circa 1966. The more one thinks about it, given Ditko’s political/philosophical beliefs — for him, Ayn Rand didn’t take her epistemology as far as he would have preferred — he might well have intended the third route, given that people who put on costumes and fight crime for the very sake of fighting crime and wearing costumes aren’t really providing the world a value-add service, given the social plentitude and pervasiveness of crime. They might as well be pushing balls of dung around endlessly, for all the real good they offer. As for the costumes, they may be as useful as a prophylactic against endless ridicule as they are disguising their wearers from criminals who also wear costumes. Needless to say, none of this factored into Gareth Dunnet-Alcocer’s script. The only value-add it offers is the cultural spin on the super-hero concept in its depiction of Mexican-Americans — and if you are Mexican-American watching this amidst a mixed audience, Soto provides so many cringe moment