EP#24: MEGS ~ inner conflicts of motherhood

The highest highs, the lowest lows. The elation seeing a positive test, followed by the terrible grief of miscarriage. Trying to become pregnant again, yet unable to accept the fact when it happens. A physically healthy twin pregnancy, filled with anxiety. Needing help, but not wanting it when it arrives. Instagram vs the reality of life with newborns. The torture of two cries and having to decide who first. Wanting to do it all yourself and the guilt when it is impossible. Feeling entirely in love with your babies, yet wondering “why did we rush this”? Meg’s journey to motherhood is full of the contradictions and inner conflicts that are relatable to so many mothers. Together, we dive into them all and discover how Megs is navigating them all with her two beautiful boys. In this episode we talk about:A stressful eight months trying to conceiveFirst ever panic attackLosing a first baby: the deep and enduring griefThe role of social media in shaping unrealistic expectations inducing unnecessary stressA very quick second conceptionStruggling to accept the second pregnancy after prior lossChose to live in ignorance as long as possible as a coping mechanismFinding out there were two heart beatsHigh intensity cognitive behavioural therapy due to high levels of anxiety and disbeliefTwo weeks miscarriage leave from workHeart burn and acid refluxBecoming proud of your stretch marksWeight gain post birthStruggling with the idea of a caesarianWhy the anaesthetist is your best friend during a c-sectionWhen baby is taken to intensive careHolding both babies for the first time, at three days oldTube feeding and jaundiceThe car journey home on a sunny Easter SundayTaking it day by day, nappy by nappy, feed by feedEnvy of those with one babyA brutal reality checkBreastfeeding and pumping for twinsNeed help so badly but finding it so hard to see someone else looking after your babyThe torture of hearing two cries and having to choose