Episode 27 - Korihor on the Street

Intro: [00:00:32]<br/><br/>Well, well, well, gather 'round, ladies and gentlemen, for this riveting podcast featuring Abigail, Moroni, aaaAAAaaa, and the elusive Stwrt. They're serving up their delightful concoction, "Faith in the Spirit," with a side of Jesus jokes—apparently, turning water into other drinks wasn't in the divine bartender's skill set. Hold onto your chopsticks as they banter about sushi, oysters, and Abish's post-baby alcohol adventures. Oh, and did we mention their hilarious glee over Abish's absence in a previous episode? Who's the real podcast glue? Prepare for a mind-blowing revelation!<br/><br/>Scriptures: [00:06:16]<br/><br/>Time to take a leisurely stroll through the ancient texts of the Book of Alma in the Book of Mormon. Our host, Abish, guides us through the riveting story of Korihor, the belief challenger. Watch in awe as Alma, the divine debater, demonstrates God's power by turning Korihor into a mute mumbler. Beware, poor folks—Alma seems to thrive on misery to make you more receptive to his divine sales pitch. You can practically smell the manipulation in the air as they mock evidence-based reasoning. After all, faith is all about hoping for things you can't see, even if it's as clear as day on the internet.<br/><br/>Hold onto your sacred scrolls as they unleash their comedic arsenal on the Scriptures, poking fun at names like Zenos and Amulek. Sacrifice, planting divine seeds in your heart, and crying out to God make for some top-notch divine entertainment. And who needs doubt and questioning? Not them! Baptisms for the dead are the perfect recipe for procrastination.<br/><br/>Church Teachings: [00:49:07]<br/><br/>Ladies and gentlemen, behold the sacramental sacrament of ketchup chips and the daring act of turning water into gasoline through sheer faith. Moroni takes the spotlight, sharing his personal faith tales and frustrations with the church's teachings. Let's all be like Ostriches, burying our heads in the sand instead of researching conflicting information. Who needs reason when you can just strengthen your faith in Jesus Christ and be blissfully oblivious?<br/><br/>Sit tight as they dissect church leaders' talks with the precision of a surgeon. President Dallin H. Oaks' advice on honesty is nothing short of divine wisdom—if you conveniently forget those pesky personal experiences of discouragement and unsatisfactory answers. Group activities or one-on-one indoctrination? You decide! But watch out for cognitive dissonance—it's the latest fashion trend in maintaining belief.<br/><br/>Oh, and let's not forget the eternal optimist, Carl B. Cook, preaching "keep faith" like it's the cure for everything. Apparently, it comes with built-in filters for inconvenient historical and doctrinal flaws. Who needs critical thinking anyway? Just pray for answers like Neil Anderson suggests, and voilà! Your questions will vanish into thin air.<br/><br/>History: [01:54:30]<br/><br/>Get ready for a history lesson drenched in the irony of Brigham Young's early life. Born with little education but a knack for joining religious clubs, Young's Mormon adventure was destined for greatness. Witness his rise to fame as he plays a starring role in the Mormon Exodus to Illinois. But wait, there's more—Joseph Smith introduces the doctrine of plural marriage, and Young reluctantly hops on board. What a match made in heaven!<br/><br/>Now, let's explore Young's impressive collection of wives. From 17-year-olds to sisters and step-grandchildren, he's got them all! We're talking about sealing for eternity and some after-death romance. What could possibly go wrong?