Episode 29 - The Dodge Grand Caravan of Seafaring Vessels

Welcome to another thrilling episode of our podcast! In the intro, our fabulous hosts Abish, Moroni, Abigail, and aaaAAAaaa gather together to indulge in some "Unholy Offspring" wine from the Hive Winery. Oh, the tales of their drinking escapades! Abish got wasted on chardonnay during a work trip, and Moroni had the honor of vomiting in front of a bride at a Catholic wedding. aaaAAAaaa had the joy of spewing rum all over his beard at a Louisiana barbecue. They've really hit the pinnacle of classiness, haven't they? And let's not forget their ancestors, who would be positively scandalized by their antics, from criticizing the church to some "intimate escapades." Oh, how delightful!<br/><br/>[00:17:55]<br/>In the Scriptures segment, Moroni takes us on a riveting journey through Alma 43-49. Brace yourself for battles, antichrists, and a whole lot of confusion. Keeping track of events and characters? Not their strong suit. But hey, at least they find it amusing to mock kings and their ever-changing leadership. And let's not forget the pinnacle of humor: a man named Amalickiah, probably named during a sneezing fit. This man's mission in life? To become a king, obviously, by taking over the throne after a little regicide. But don't worry, Moroni's righteousness and courage are here to save the day! Oh, and did we mention that Amalickiah vows to drink Moroni's blood? It's like Shakespeare, but with a twist.<br/><br/>[00:39:06]<br/>Time to tackle some Church Teachings! The hosts indulge in witty banter while discussing religious freedom. The church loves to preach about it but doesn't seem to grasp the concept themselves. Oh, the irony! And let's not forget their brilliant commentary on religious conversion and their oh-so-disapproving stance on LGBTQ+ rights. But hey, they've got a church statement on religious freedom, so they must be experts, right? Insert eye roll here. They question the church's insistence on being called by its full name, because that's obviously the most pressing issue. The hosts spare no mercy in critiquing the church's teachings, and boy, do they have a lot to say!<br/><br/>[01:16:38]<br/>In the History segment, the hosts start with a completely unrelated mishmash of topics, like animal facts and cute baby animals. Because who doesn't love a random tangent? Eventually, Abigail talks about the voyage of the ship Brooklyn, carrying Mormon immigrants in the 1800s. Get ready for some maritime drama, folks! Delayed departure, strict rules, seasickness, and tying women and children to bunks - what a cruise! But hey, at least they had a library to drown their sorrows in during the five-month journey. We can only imagine how fun that must have been.<br/><br/>But wait, there's more! The Brooklyn pioneers faced even more excitement upon reaching California - the Mexican-American War! It's like they were destined for adventure. Despite their hopes of joining fellow Mormons in Salt Lake City, they were left having starting anew in Utah and embarking on a treacherous journey to get there. Oh, but gold to the rescue! The discovery of gold in California foothills saved the day, and the settlers became instant millionaires, just like in a fairy tale. Cue the riches, chaos, and even some alcoholism - because nothing says gold rush like self-destructive behavior.<br/><br/>So there you have it, folks! Another episode filled with witty commentary and laugh-out-loud moments. Join us for this enlightening journey through history and scriptures, where we bring a touch of humor and cynicism to even the most solemn topics. Cheers!