Episode 480: If Comedy Is Born From Tragedy, Then Parenting Is Hilarious, with Ophira Eisenberg

Boy, do we ever have the parenting life-hack for you: Lie, bribe, and hide from your kids! Comedian Ophira Eisenberg returns to discuss dropping the ball, the death of 5 Year Goals, and pelvic floor exercises. Plus, Biz's sandwich sucks.Listen to Ophira's new podcast Parenting Is A Joke wherever fine pods are cast. For more information, tour dates, and comedy specials, visit Ophira's website at www.ophiraeisenberg.com. Follow Ophira on Twitter @OphiraE and on Instagram @ophirae.Thank you to all our listeners who support the show as monthly members of MaximumFun.org. This week, we're sponsored by BetterHelp. Go to BetterHelp.com/BADMOTHER to get 10% off your first month.Share your genius and fail moments! Call 206-350-9485Be sure to tell us at the top of your message whether you’re leaving a Genius moment, a Fail, or a Rant! Thanks!!Share a personal or commercial message on the show! Details at MaximumFun.org/Jumbotron.Visit our Linktree for our website, merch, and more! https://linktr.ee/onebadmotherYou can suggest a topic or a guest for an upcoming show by sending an email to onebadmother@maximumfun.org.Show MusicSummon the Rawk, Kevin MacLeod (www.incompetech.com)Ones and Zeros, Awesome, Beehive SessionsMom Song, Adira Amram, Hot Jams For TeensTelephone, Awesome, Beehive SessionsMama Blues, Cornbread Ted and the ButterbeansMental Health Resources:Therapy for Black Girls – Therapyforblackgirls.comDr. Jessica Clemmens – https://www.askdrjess.comBLH Foundation – borislhensonfoundation.orgThe Postpartum Support International Warmline - 1-800-944-4773 (1-800-944-4PPD)The Substance Abuse and Mental Health Services Administration (SAMHSA) Helpline - 1-800-662-4357 (1-800-662-HELP)Suicide Prevention Hotline: Call or chat. They are here to help anyone in crisis. Dial 988 for https://suicidepreventionlifeline.org and there is a chat option on the website.Crisis Text Line: Text from anywhere in the USA (also Canada and the UK) to text with a trained counselor. A real human being.USA text 741741Canada text 686868UK text 85258Website: https://www.crisistextline.orgNational Sexual Assault: Call 800.656.HOPE (4673) to be connected with a trained staff member from a sexual assault service provider in your area.https://www.rainn.orgNational Domestic Violence Hotline: https://www.thehotline.org/help/Our advocates are available 24/7 at 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) in more than 200 languages. All calls are free and confidential.They suggest that if you are a victim and cannot seek help, ask a friend or family member to call for you.Teletherapy Search: https://www.psychologytoda