Secrets, Turn-Ons, and Fantasies: Your Stories About Porn

In 2016, a listener we’re calling James sent us a voice memo. He described himself as a recovering porn addict, and was struggling to stay away from it while his wife was away. So we wanted to know more about your relationships with porn, and over 100 of you shared how you first learned about it, your likes and dislikes, and why some of you stopped using it completely. Some of you are fairly open about how you use porn. Jennifer* likes to ask dates about their porn tastes. “You can have a better sex life when all the cards are out on the table,” she said to Anna. Michael* has watched it since he was a teenager, and found it a helpful way to learn more about his sexuality. “Why is it not accepted to be attracted to beautiful images?” he asked. But some of you have had to cut porn out entirely. Daniel* hasn’t watched porn in years, and after seeing how it negatively affected his relationship and mental health, he won’t go back. “It gives me a really intense feeling,” he told Anna. “But it’s also usually followed by a lot of shame too.” We’re revisiting our most popular episode: featuring your stories about porn.   *Names changed for privacy reasons.