The Non Perfect Parents Club: Chatting with Gemma

In this episode I am joined by Gemma, Mum of 3. Gemma was requested by one of our listeners and I know that lots of you will really enjoy listening to this episode!Gemma talks about how she thinks parenting can't be boxed and how after it being uniformed for so long, we're unboxing it. There are no rules to parenting. As always the judgement question brings up a good conversation and Gemma tells us how she needs no help from other to feel judgement as she judges herself enough. But we also discuss how judgemental comments are never really meant for us, they're more about the person saying them than the person they're about. We talk lots about mental health and support in parenting and how Gemma worries about the parents that don't have a friend or that safe place that they can turn to. I found this quote that Gemma said very poignant when talking about declining professional help; 'I just need a really good friend'. We talk about loneliness and feeling isolated and how it can be hard to pull yourself out of that feeling. Gemma tells us a couple of her parenting stories. She talks about how she has had to learn to laugh at herself and how if you don't, you can get caught in such a negative cycle. Gemma talks about how finding out she was unexpectedly pregnant with her third child was a curveball with her worry being 'how am I going to do this?' We discuss how it's okay to take time to process things and how it's okay to feel your feelings. Gemma tells us (tongue in cheek) how parenting doesn't always show her greatest moments but also how having more than one child made her a better parent. I think the most poignant part of our conversation in this episode however was when Gemma talked about when she was a stay at home Mum and she felt that was ALL she had. She lost herself to motherhood and when she realised she had to ask herself some important questions like 'Am I lost to Motherhood or am I being a martyr?' and 'am I completely lost or am I willing to pull myself out?' And what would she change for us all? ... That every parent has someone to reach out to. Gemma says 'Meeting people where they're struggling is the greatest gift.' Another honest conversation about parenting!