Top Gun: Talk to Me, Goose!!

Happy America Day! You wanna see some oiled-up men flying JETS in JEANS playing VOLLEYBALL, look no further than Top Gun, a movie for the straights that ended up being for the gays. Is the story good? No. Is the dialogue interesting? Absolutely not. But guys, nothing says America like toxic masculinity trying to cover up the homoerotic content of this military advertisement. Brennan explains dirty air and standardized tests, Erin sings "Take My Breath Away" twenty times, and both are confused with Tom Cruise's acting choices (somehow we still love you). In the end, the seeds have been planted for our hosts to return for Top Gun: Maverick. <br/><br/>If we could end this with a sound, it would be Iceman biting his teeth at Maverick. Hawt.