2 Keys To My Parenting "Success": Lessons Learned from Taking My Child to College

Yesterday I dropped my oldest son for his first year of college. It’s probably too soon to do a full reflection on all the things I’ve learned as I launch my kid into college – and transitioned him one step further on his journey towards independence – but I realized two key factors that made this transition easier for me and I wanted to share them asap. My 2 big takeaways are this:#1 Embracing and processing your emotion is so importantLearning to process emotion, especially negative ones, is probably the single most valuable gift I’ve given myself over the past 19 years of motherhood. Being able to feel all my feelings has allowed me to truly be present for the experience of parenting and raising my boys. I was here for it. All of it. The good, the bad, and the ugly. I’m so grateful for my willingness to get help when I needed it. To learn. To grow. To become. #2 Celebrating your parenting achievements is a good thingThe hard work of what is now known as “gentle parenting” is worth it. Especially when you combine connected/compassionate parenting with firm limits and restorative consequences. Years ago, I chose 3 parenting goals:My kids’ emotional health and wellbeingMy relationship with my kidsMy own mental and emotional wellbeing<br/>That meant working on myself and calming my own emotional reactivity, so I didn’t dump all my crap on him. It meant learning how to teach him emotional regulation through the practice of compassion, so he would learn what to do with all of his feelings too.I had to have firm limits with him. Let him make mistakes. Not rescue him. It’s the years and years of work that led us to this moment. It’s why he’s going to be ok. Today, on “launch day” for my oldest, I can honestly say I’ve achieved what I set out to do. And I’m letting myself be proud of it. To savor the moment. It’s not something parents are typically taught to do. In this podcast episode, I invite you to explore these 2 take-aways yourself, by reflecting on the following questions. Are you letting yourself feel the feelings as they come up? To allow yourself to feel fully sad or mad or scared? Do you trust yourself to feel it all and let the feeling pass through you? Are you letting yourself feel proud of your hard work as a parent? Do you quiet your inner critic, at least sometimes, and tell yourself good job?<br/>One thing I want you to know is this: You have permission. Permission to feel your feelings.Permission to be proud of yourself.<br/>You'll learn: All about my “anxiety nest” Why “mom mode” is a way to escape our feelings  How to feel your feelings and be ok with whatever comes up The small and simple ways I feel proud of myself as a mom <br/>Listen now! 🌈💕