Episode 34 - Men Are Unstable Part 1

Introduction<br/>Hold onto your wigs, folks, because aaaAAAaaa, Moroni, Abigail, and Abish are back with another riveting podcast episode that's more delightful than a root canal. They kick things off with their usual charm, introducing themselves and their episode theme: "Men are unstable and foolish and quick to do evil" Sipping their aptly named "Foolish Man's-hattan" cocktails, they dive headfirst into an abyss of random banter and a nod to their previous cocktail, the "widow's mite." It's a symphony of chaos where they even manage to toss in some LGBTQ topics and give a shoutout to the enigmatic Madame Patrini, because why not? Grab your straightjacket and prepare for a lighthearted descent into madness.<br/><br/>Scriptures [00:09:32]<br/>If there's one thing you'll want to question your life choices for, it's listening to aaaAAAaaa read from Helaman 12. This gem of a scripture has it all: human inadequacies, divine smiting, and a hefty serving of repentance. But wait, our hosts aren't about to take these teachings lying down! They nimbly draw parallels between religious dogma and toxic relationships, shaking the very foundation of faith. By the end, they've masterfully crushed any hopes of eternal salvation and left you questioning your very existence. But hey, at least they remind you to love yourself, a rarity in a world where everyone else thinks you're just a hot mess.<br/><br/>Church Teachings [00:36:52]<br/>Hold onto your holy books because Abish is ready to dish out some divine drama. It's a true-crime buffet as they unveil cases that'll make you reconsider joining any organized religion. From David, Laura, and Lorraine Knaikko's peculiar family isolation stint to Glenn Helzer's DIY religious takeover plot involving Brazilian orphans (yes, you read that right), it's like a Lifetime movie on steroids. But the pièce de résistance is Ron and Dan Lafferty's unique spin on polygamy and murder. They believe it's all about "divine guidance." Honestly, if you thought your family dinners were awkward, think again. These tales will leave you questioning whether organized religion is a divine revelation or a recipe for disaster.<br/><br/>History [01:25:37]<br/>In this rollercoaster of religious absurdity, Abigail takes the mic and dives deep into the history of the Danites. These secret-society pioneers started as "daughters of Zion" (which sounds like a hipster band name) and evolved into a sort of religious bouncer squad. Joseph Smith's tiff with their leader, Sampson Avard, adds a dash of soap opera drama. But wait, there's more! Brigham Young's plausible deniability skills and the rumors of the Danites' secret survival will make you question everything you know about church history. And did we mention blood atonement? Oh yes, Brigham Young was a big fan of bloodshed and had a penchant for creative punishments. Get ready for a history lesson that'll make you question how the wild west wasn't renamed "Utah Thunderdome."<br/><br/>Conclusion<br/>In their own unique brand of irreverent and eyebrow-raising storytelling, aaaAAAaaa, Moroni, Abigail, and Abish tackle topics that are as delightful as a root canal. With humor, skepticism, and a healthy dose of snark, they unravel the dark and distressing aspects of religious beliefs, history, and the human condition. But hey, in a world where everyone's a little unstable and foolish, at least you're not alone. So, brace yourselves for future episodes that promise to leave you questioning your sanity and the very fabric of the universe. Happy listening!<br/><br/><br/><br/><br/><br/>