TAPE 403 | Lucas Maraschino’s Senior Boys (ft. JR Atkinson)

(1997-2023) Lucas Maraschino, future martyr for a new religion and high school co-ed field hockey star, died yesterday after being spiced out of his mind. A senior boy’s boy and aspirational prankster, Lucas will be remembered for his loitering of the high school parking lot, his single fingernail nail polish application, and his dedication to his boys Brendan and JT. His funeral will be held in the Mangled Church this evening. New episode this Thursday!