Healing Trauma with Therapy: a conversation with Danielle Sellick

The strangest thing happened – I was driving to work when all of a sudden, the car behind me starts honking and screeching, and driver leans out the window, starts hurtling abuse.<br /> At me – but I do not scream, or show him the finger… No, I blow him a kiss. With a big loving smile. And there’s a change: Bravado is gone, in an instant – the driver shuts off, turns away, and steering the car onto the freeway, he disappears. Oh I felt a winner, my friend – if only this once! But why blow a kiss to a guy who is cursing you down? And what in the world does any of it have to do with forgiveness? I came across a book by Robert Enright which starts off with this sentence: Forgiveness can save your life. I do not believe that I have ever forgiven anyone ever who’s hurt me, but honestly – what do they care? They live on their days in ignorant bliss, happy with life and themselves… No, it is I who is carrying the burden of hurt, of anger, frustration, and hate. How could this be fair? And I had enough! I want to let go of this hatred, resentment that I have inside. Sure, the whole business of letting go, it is easier said than done, but I’m trying: Right now, I’m forgiving a friend who has let me down during cancer (more on this on the podcast), and I want to forgive the more deeper hurts. And when I say forgive, I do not mean absolve, or forget. It is part of my healing journey, and I want to share it with you. So this week, I pick out three key themes that helped me forgive, and how it also applies in our everyday life. Because life isn’t easy, and if we consider forgiving the hurts, we can only do so by seeing people as they are, with their faults and their suffering. Their struggles and suffering might mirror our own, and seeing them as they are can help us forgive – not only the other person, but also ourselves. For not being perfect, not having it all figured out, for being human – our true gift is an act of kindness. Today, when I run into an angry colleague or a random stranger in road rage, I ask myself – what if there’s a reason that they feel this way, a reason they can’t feel, or put into words? The person we meet just might be a trauma survivor, like you, me, or any of us. They deserve a kind thought because we’re all looking to catch a break. And so we try – I am hopeful to be forgiving to friends and strangers because I want to be happy. Because being happy is what you deserve – despite the worries, struggles, and hurts. I’m here for you – and this week, on forgiveness: If you are looking for a pick me up, check out my brand new book on thriving in times of uncertainty:   The post #106 – Difficult Road to Forgiveness appeared first on Power To Be Happy.